Trust Yourself: Learning How to Live with Uncertainty
Photo Credit: Delmaine Donson via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
Life will always find a way to remind you that control is a story we tell ourselves. You can plan, you can prepare, and you can try to map out every detail, but there comes a point where the road goes blurry and you have no choice but to walk forward without all the answers. That is the part most of us resist. We want clarity, predictability, a timeline, an explanation. But uncertainty is part of being human. Learning to live with it is the real work.
What makes uncertainty so heavy is that it hits the places we protect the most. The future you thought you were building. The people you expected to be there. The opportunities that were supposed to open. The version of yourself you believed you would grow into. When any of that feels unstable, it shakes everything else. Black women know this feeling well. We are often the ones who hold things together, so not knowing what comes next can feel like failure even when it is not. It can feel like you are slipping when really you are just transitioning.
Living with uncertainty means you stop trying to outrun what you cannot control. You stop believing you can force life into behaving. You stop exhausting yourself trying to fix situations that require patience instead of panic. There is power in knowing what is yours to carry and what is not. There is peace in realizing you do not have to figure everything out today.
None of this is easy. Uncertainty pushes every button you have. It invites fear and second guessing and those late-night thoughts where you start imagining worst case scenarios. It makes you feel unsteady even when you are doing your best. But the truth is that uncertainty is not the enemy. It is often the doorway to what you have been asking for. It stretches you. It grows you. It forces you to trust yourself in a way certainty never could.
Learning to live with uncertainty is not about pretending to be unbothered. It is not about toxic positivity or convincing yourself everything is perfect. It is about honesty. It is about admitting that you do not know how something will unfold, while still choosing to move forward. It is about letting your hope speak louder than your fear, even if you have to whisper it to yourself some days. It is choosing presence over panic.
One thing uncertainty teaches you is that clarity usually shows up after you take the next step, not before. You learn as you go. You grow as you move. Some answers arrive only after you have walked through the moment that scared you. That is why staying stuck does more harm than uncertainty ever could. Staying stuck keeps you repeating the same fear with no new information. Moving gives you evidence that you are stronger than you thought.
Black women deserve to build lives that are not controlled by fear of the unknown. We deserve softness even in the in-between. We deserve moments where we do not have to perform strength. Learning to live with uncertainty gives you the chance to finally breathe. It gives you room to stop managing everything and start trusting yourself again.
There will always be seasons when life goes quiet and the next step is unclear. But uncertainty does not mean you are off track. It means you are in motion. It means something is shifting. It means the story is still unfolding. And even if you cannot see the full picture yet, you are allowed to keep walking. You are allowed to believe that where you are going will make sense when you get there.
Living with uncertainty takes courage, but it also gives you freedom. Freedom from forcing. Freedom from fear. Freedom to grow into the version of yourself that can hold both the questions and the faith that answers are coming.