Trust Yourself: Learning How to Live with Uncertainty
Learning to live with uncertainty is really about learning to trust yourself when life offers no clarity! We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: Delmaine Donson via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
Life will always find a way to remind you that control is a story we tell ourselves. You can plan, you can prepare, and you can try to map out every detail, but there comes a point where the road goes blurry and you have no choice but to walk forward without all the answers. That is the part most of us resist. We want clarity, predictability, a timeline, an explanation. But uncertainty is part of being human. Learning to live with it is the real work.
What makes uncertainty so heavy is that it hits the places we protect the most. The future you thought you were building. The people you expected to be there. The opportunities that were supposed to open. The version of yourself you believed you would grow into. When any of that feels unstable, it shakes everything else. Black women know this feeling well. We are often the ones who hold things together, so not knowing what comes next can feel like failure even when it is not. It can feel like you are slipping when really you are just transitioning.
Living with uncertainty means you stop trying to outrun what you cannot control. You stop believing you can force life into behaving. You stop exhausting yourself trying to fix situations that require patience instead of panic. There is power in knowing what is yours to carry and what is not. There is peace in realizing you do not have to figure everything out today.
None of this is easy. Uncertainty pushes every button you have. It invites fear and second guessing and those late-night thoughts where you start imagining worst case scenarios. It makes you feel unsteady even when you are doing your best. But the truth is that uncertainty is not the enemy. It is often the doorway to what you have been asking for. It stretches you. It grows you. It forces you to trust yourself in a way certainty never could.
Learning to live with uncertainty is not about pretending to be unbothered. It is not about toxic positivity or convincing yourself everything is perfect. It is about honesty. It is about admitting that you do not know how something will unfold, while still choosing to move forward. It is about letting your hope speak louder than your fear, even if you have to whisper it to yourself some days. It is choosing presence over panic.
One thing uncertainty teaches you is that clarity usually shows up after you take the next step, not before. You learn as you go. You grow as you move. Some answers arrive only after you have walked through the moment that scared you. That is why staying stuck does more harm than uncertainty ever could. Staying stuck keeps you repeating the same fear with no new information. Moving gives you evidence that you are stronger than you thought.
Black women deserve to build lives that are not controlled by fear of the unknown. We deserve softness even in the in-between. We deserve moments where we do not have to perform strength. Learning to live with uncertainty gives you the chance to finally breathe. It gives you room to stop managing everything and start trusting yourself again.
There will always be seasons when life goes quiet and the next step is unclear. But uncertainty does not mean you are off track. It means you are in motion. It means something is shifting. It means the story is still unfolding. And even if you cannot see the full picture yet, you are allowed to keep walking. You are allowed to believe that where you are going will make sense when you get there.
Living with uncertainty takes courage, but it also gives you freedom. Freedom from forcing. Freedom from fear. Freedom to grow into the version of yourself that can hold both the questions and the faith that answers are coming.
By: Jamila Gomez
People underestimate how much power sits inside three small words. “I don’t know” sounds harmless. It feels neutral. It gives you a little room to breathe when a question touches a nerve. But those words can lock you in place faster than fear ever could. They feel like an honest response, yet most of the time they are a reflex, a way to avoid looking at something you already sense but do not want to face.
When people hit discomfort, “I don’t know” becomes the easiest escape route. It shuts the door on deeper reflection. It keeps the conversation on the surface. It allows you to stay untouched by the truth that is waiting to be acknowledged. You are not confused. You are protecting yourself. And that protection comes with a cost. Growth cannot happen in a space where you shut down every invitation to go deeper.
Most of the time, the answer is already sitting in your body. You feel it long before you say it. You know when you are tired of something. You know when you do not trust something. You know when something is no longer working for you. The mind may play games, but your spirit rarely lies. When you keep saying “I don’t know,” what you really mean is “I am not ready to deal with the truth sitting in front of me.” And that honesty alone can be the very thing that gets you unstuck.
People stay in cycles for years because those three words let them off the hook. If you do not know, you do not have to choose. You do not have to confront anything. You do not have to make a move. You can stay exactly where you are and call it uncertainty instead of fear. It feels safer, but it is the kind of safety that steals your progress. Nothing grows in that space.
The shift happens when you stop letting “I don’t know” be the end of the conversation. Instead of shutting down, you start getting curious. What am I avoiding right now? What am I afraid to say out loud? What am I protecting by staying silent? Questions like these pull the truth to the surface. They interrupt the habit of shutting down. They give you access to clarity you have been pretending you do not have.
Growth does not demand perfect answers. It asks for honesty. It asks for willingness. It asks for the courage to sit with what is real instead of hiding behind what feels easier. “I don’t know” might feel safe in the moment, but it keeps you standing still. The minute you stop using it as a shield, you make room for the clarity and movement you have been needing.
You may not have every answer, but you know enough to take the next step. And that step is what gets you out of stuck.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
10 Tips For Creating a Life That You Love and Enjoy
Creating a life you love is a deeply personal and transformative journey. Here are some actionable tips to help you design a life that resonates with your values and passions!
By: Jamila Gomez
Creating a life you love is a deeply personal and transformative journey. It involves self-discovery, purposeful action, and a commitment to growth and happiness. Here are some actionable tips to help you design a life that resonates with your values and passions!
1. Self-Discovery and Clarity
- Reflect on Your Values: Identify what truly matters to you. Your values are the compass that guides your decisions and actions.
- Set Clear Goals: Define what success and happiness mean to you. Set both short-term and long-term goals that align with your values.
2. Cultivate Positive Habits
- Daily Routines: Establish routines that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Morning and evening rituals can set a positive tone for your day.
- Mindfulness and Gratitude: Practice mindfulness to stay present and appreciative of the moment. Keeping a gratitude journal can help you focus on the positive aspects of your life.
3. Pursue Passion and Purpose
- Follow Your Interests: Engage in activities that excite and energize you. Whether it’s a hobby, a creative pursuit, or a professional path, following your passion can bring immense joy and fulfillment.
- Contribute to Something Greater: Find ways to give back to your community or support causes you believe in. A sense of purpose often comes from helping others and making a positive impact.
4. Build Meaningful Relationships
- Connect with Like-minded People: Surround yourself with supportive, inspiring individuals who share your values and interests.
- Nurture Existing Relationships: Invest time and energy in your current relationships. Quality over quantity is key when it comes to meaningful connections.
5. Embrace Change and Growth
- Stay Open to New Experiences: Be willing to step out of your comfort zone and try new things. Personal growth often occurs when we challenge ourselves.
- Learn Continuously: Commit to lifelong learning. Read books, take courses, and seek knowledge that can enhance your personal and professional life.
6. Practice Self-Care and Well-Being
- Physical Health: Prioritize exercise, nutrition, and adequate rest. A healthy body supports a healthy mind.
- Mental Health: Take care of your mental well-being through practices like meditation, therapy, or journaling. Address stress and seek help when needed.
7. Manage Time and Energy Wisely
- Prioritize Tasks: Focus on what’s most important and urgent. Use tools like to-do lists and calendars to stay organized.
- Balance Work and Leisure: Ensure you have time for relaxation and activities you enjoy. A balanced life is crucial for sustained happiness.
8. Financial Wellness
- Create a Budget: Manage your finances by creating and sticking to a budget. Financial stability reduces stress and opens up opportunities.
- Invest in Your Future: Save and invest wisely. Plan for both short-term needs and long-term goals.
9. Be Resilient and Adaptable
- Embrace Setbacks: Understand that setbacks are part of the journey. Learn from failures and use them as stepping stones to success.
- Stay Flexible: Be open to changing your plans as needed. Life is unpredictable, and flexibility can help you navigate challenges effectively.
10. Celebrate Your Journey
- Acknowledge Achievements: Take time to celebrate your successes, no matter how small. Recognizing progress boosts motivation and confidence.
- Enjoy the Process: Focus on enjoying the journey, not just the destination. Find joy in the daily steps you take towards your goals.
Creating a life you love is an ongoing process that requires introspection, effort, and resilience. By following these tips and remaining true to yourself, you can build a fulfilling and joyful life tailored to your unique aspirations and values.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN: