When Faith Forgets the Human: How Spirituality Can Shrink or Expand Us
Spirituality should expand, not shrink, who we are, inviting us to embrace our full humanity rather than hide behind rules or expectations! We discuss it here!
When Faith Forgets the Human
Photo Credit: Jacob Wackerhausen via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
There’s a version of religion and spirituality that pulls people closer to themselves. And there’s another version—far more common—where faith becomes a shadow people hide behind, a set of rules that squeezes their humanity until they barely recognize themselves. The tension between the two has shaped entire generations, leaving many wondering whether faith is supposed to free them or restrain them.
For a lot of people, the faith they inherited wasn’t about becoming whole; it was about becoming acceptable. They were taught early that certain feelings were sinful, certain questions were rebellious, and certain parts of themselves needed to be tucked away to be “worthy.” Spirituality, in this form, becomes a performance. It asks people to show their polished parts and bury the rest. Over time, they learn to shrink—emotionally, mentally, and even relationally—because the space they’re allowed to take up is carved out by someone else’s interpretation of holiness.
This kind of shrinking shows up everywhere. People stop being honest about their doubts because doubt is labeled as weakness. They disconnect from their anger because anger is treated as disrespect. They hide their grief because grief is seen as a lack of faith. They suppress their joy because joy that doesn’t look like praise is sometimes judged as worldliness. Slowly, they begin to edit themselves. Not because God asked them to, but because their religious environment demanded a smaller, quieter, more obedient version of who they actually are.
But the truth is this: humanity isn’t the enemy of spirituality. It’s the birthplace of it. The most honest spiritual moments are rooted in very human experiences—fear, love, loss, hope, confusion, connection. When religion forgets that, it forgets the people it’s supposed to serve.
The other side of spirituality—the healthy side—doesn’t shrink people. It stretches them. It reminds them that being human is not a flaw but a fact, and that faith isn’t meant to erase their complexity but hold it. In a nurturing spiritual environment, doubt becomes a doorway to curiosity, not a threat. Anger becomes a signal that something needs attention. Grief becomes a sacred language. Joy becomes an expression of presence, not performance. The fullness of a person’s emotional life becomes a landscape where growth actually happens.
Healthy spirituality makes room for the whole person: the questions they haven’t answered, the wounds they haven’t healed, the dreams they haven’t said aloud. It encourages people to show up as themselves, not as an edited script. It honors their boundaries, their imperfections, and their individuality. It makes faith something lived, not performed.
So does spirituality shrink humanity? It can. And for many, it has. But it doesn’t have to. Faith was never meant to turn people into smaller versions of themselves. At its best, it calls them into wholeness—a place where their humanity is not something to hide, but something to embrace.
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