The Unjustifiable Shatter: When Just Leaving Isn’t Enough
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By: Jamila Gomez
I came across a quote from comedian Corey Holcomb recently that hit me harder than I expected. It said:
“The reason they won’t leave you alone is because they can’t leave with you intact. You must be destroyed before they can move on with a clear conscience.”
That line wrecked me—because it was too accurate.
So many people who’ve been in relationships with narcissists or emotionally manipulative partners know exactly what that means, even if they couldn’t name it. You weren’t just abandoned. You were targeted. Not because you were unworthy, but because your wholeness was a threat.
A narcissist doesn’t want to just leave.
They need to win—and they can’t “win” if you walk away healed, loved, respected, and at peace. So instead, they try to break you. Piece by piece. Confidence, community, self-worth. Because if you fall apart, they get to say, “See? I told you she was unstable.”
They don’t need to love you. They just need to feel right. And if you’re still intact, they have to confront the fact that they were wrong. That’s why the smear campaigns happen. That’s why they push for reactions. That’s why they check to see if you’re still “damaged.”
But if you’re still here—healing, rising, reclaiming your life—that’s the part they didn’t plan for. You surviving ruins the script. You choosing peace exposes the lie. You being whole is proof they never broke you.
So if you’ve been wondering why someone who hurt you so deeply still lingers in your orbit—it’s not love. It’s image. It’s ego. And it’s their discomfort with the fact that you made it out intact.
Don’t go back. Don’t explain. Don’t shrink. You’re already doing what they never expected: You survived.
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