Designing a Trip That Actually Feels Good to You

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By: Jamila Gomez

It’s not just in your head. When Black women say something feels off, we’re often met with blank stares, rushed explanations, or worse—dismissal. Whether it’s pain being minimized, symptoms being overlooked, or valid concerns being downplayed, the truth is this: healthcare was not built with us in mind. And you can feel that in the way you’re spoken to, treated, or ignored altogether.

You shouldn’t have to prepare for a fight every time you book a checkup, but in many cases, that’s what it becomes. A tug-of-war between what you know about your body and what someone else assumes based on their bias or lack of training. So you learn to prepare—not because you want to, but because you have to.

Start by treating your body like a case file. If something doesn’t feel right, log it. Don’t wait until the day before your appointment to remember when it started. Track your symptoms in real time—note the frequency, what makes it worse, what helps, and how it interferes with your daily life. This isn’t about proving you’re in pain. It’s about refusing to let anyone act like it’s unclear.

Walk into that office with questions—real ones. And expect real answers. If they hand you a vague explanation, ask for specifics. If they dismiss your concern, ask what diagnostic process they’re using. You’re not being difficult—you’re being informed. There’s a difference.

And let’s be honest: you might need a witness. Having someone with you—a friend, partner, cousin—can change the entire tone of the visit. They don’t even have to speak. Just being there can interrupt that tendency providers have to steamroll, assume, or rush through. If you can’t bring anyone, prepare a list of questions and take notes. If they push back on that, take that as a sign.

If you feel ignored, move on. Ask for a referral, a second opinion, or a complete switch. Don’t explain your discomfort. You don’t owe loyalty to a system that hasn’t earned your trust. Keep records. Ask for your charts. You have rights—use them.

And above all, trust your own expertise. You’ve been living in your body long enough to know when something’s off. Listen to that. Act on it. Say it without softening your tone.

You don’t need to convince anyone to care about your health. But you do need to make sure they can’t ignore it.

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I Don’t Know Who Needs to Hear This, But…

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By: Jamila Gomez

You don’t have to keep pretending that you’re okay just because people are used to you being strong.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your exhaustion makes sense. Not just the physical kind—the soul kind. The kind of tired that doesn’t go away after one good night’s sleep. The kind that lingers after you’ve checked off every box but still feel like you’re falling short.

This world asks a lot of you. And if you’re Black, it asks for even more—your time, your brilliance, your patience, your resilience—and rarely pauses to return the favor. You’re expected to be dependable even when no one checks to see if you’re depleted. And you’ve probably learned how to smile through it. To keep showing up. To hold space for others when no one holds space for you.

But what about you?

You, who is grieving things you never got to name.

You, who is tired of performing strength while no one sees your softness.

You, who doesn’t feel good enough—even when you’re doing more than most.

Let me say this clearly: You are not weak for feeling weary. You are human.

Feeling tired doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It might just mean you’ve outgrown the life you had to build just to survive. It might mean your spirit is asking for more rest, more truth, more honesty. Not just naps and spa days—but real permission to not always be okay.

You are not behind. You are not broken. You are not less than.

You are carrying more than most people will ever see. And even if no one claps for you today, even if no one texts to check in, even if no one says “I’m proud of you”—you’re still doing something sacred.

You’re surviving systems not made for you.

You’re trying to heal without a map.

You’re showing up in rooms that weren’t designed with your rest in mind.

That deserves more than just validation. It deserves relief.

So, if no one has told you lately: You matter. You’re allowed to pause. You are enough—right now, without proving a thing.

You don’t need to be everyone’s anchor. Sometimes, you just need to float.

And maybe this is your permission to do just that.

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Black Girl Day Off: A Day of Rest, Rejuvenation, and Empowerment

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By: Jamila Gomez

Black women have long been the backbone of communities, movements, and families, often juggling numerous responsibilities while navigating systemic inequities. In recognition of the unique challenges and pressures they face, Black Girl Day Off was created as an intentional day for Black women to rest, reconnect, and prioritize their well-being.

What is Black Girl Day Off?

Black Girl Day Off is a self-care initiative dedicated to Black women, encouraging them to take a day to rest and prioritize their mental, emotional, and physical health. It underscores the importance of rest as a radical act of resistance, reminding Black women that they deserve to step back from daily demands, honor their personal needs, and recharge.

This day is an acknowledgment of the mental and physical labor that Black women often perform without proper rest or recognition. With issues like racial discrimination, gender inequity, and stereotypes placing added burdens on Black women, Black Girl Day Off is a conscious effort to reclaim space for self-care and community.

Why is Black Girl Day Off Important?

For generations, Black women have been praised for their strength, resilience, and ability to "hold it all together." However, this expectation often ignores the toll it takes on their mental and physical well-being. **Burnout** is a significant concern among Black women, as they frequently face the compounding effects of gendered racism, discrimination, and being overworked in various professional and personal spaces.

In recent years, mental health advocates and activists have increasingly emphasized the importance of rest as a necessary and radical tool for healing. **Rest is resistance**, and for Black women, choosing to rest and prioritize themselves in a world that often demands more than they can give is a revolutionary act.

Ways Black Women Can Observe Black Girl Day Off

Whether it's setting aside a day off from work, clearing your schedule, or simply creating moments of peace, here are several ways Black women can observe Black Girl Day Off to honor their well-being:

1. Disconnect and Unplug

One powerful way to observe Black Girl Day Off is to disconnect from the noise. Turn off your phone, stay away from emails, and limit social media. Constant engagement with work, news, and social media can be overwhelming, especially for Black women who often see and experience societal injustices firsthand. Taking a break from the digital world allows space for mental clarity and emotional reprieve.

2. Create a Restful Space

Your environment can significantly impact your mood and energy. Take time to create a sanctuary within your home. This could involve lighting candles, burning sage or incense, playing soothing music, and making your space as comfortable as possible. Invest in cozy blankets, plush pillows, or even a luxurious bath to set the tone for relaxation.

3. Engage in Mindfulness and Meditation

Black Girl Day Off is an opportunity to slow down and practice mindfulness. Whether through guided meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises, mindfulness allows you to connect with your body and mind in a meaningful way. Apps like Calm, Insight Timer, or YouTube videos offer free resources for practicing meditation or yoga at home.

4. Indulge in Self-Care Rituals

Self-care looks different for everyone, and on Black Girl Day Off, you can engage in whatever makes you feel rejuvenated. This could mean indulging in a skincare routine, getting a massage, soaking in a hot bath, or simply lounging in your favorite pajamas. It's about prioritizing your needs and desires without guilt or external demands.

5. Spend Time in Nature

Nature has a profound impact on mental well-being. If you're able, spend time outdoors during your day off. Whether it's a walk through a park, sitting by the water, or a short hike, reconnecting with nature can help restore a sense of calm and groundedness. If outdoor spaces are limited, consider bringing nature indoors with plants or listening to nature sounds to create a soothing atmosphere.

6. Journal and Reflect

Journaling is a powerful tool for self-reflection and healing. Use Black Girl Day Off to reflect on your journey, celebrate your strengths, and acknowledge the challenges you've overcome. Journaling prompts like, "What does rest mean to me?" or "How can I prioritize my mental and emotional well-being?" can help guide your thoughts and spark deeper reflection.

7. Celebrate with Other Black Women

Black Girl Day Off is not just about individual rest, but also about community. Consider organizing a virtual or in-person gathering with other Black women to share your experiences, laugh, and support one another. Creating a collective space for relaxation can deepen connections and remind you that you’re part of a larger sisterhood that values and uplifts one another.

8. Engage in a Creative Outlet

Art and creativity can be incredibly therapeutic. Whether it’s painting, writing, crafting, or dancing, tap into your creative side as a form of self-expression. Engaging in activities that bring you joy without any external expectations can be a profound way to release stress and reconnect with your passions.

9. Read or Listen to Empowering Content

Nourishing your mind is another way to observe Black Girl Day Off. Dive into books, podcasts, or audiobooks by Black authors or creators that empower, inspire, and uplift you. Whether it’s a novel that transports you to a different world, or a motivational podcast that fills you with positive energy, choose content that speaks to your soul.

10. Rest Without Guilt

Perhaps the most significant way to observe Black Girl Day Off is to allow yourself to rest without guilt. Black women are often conditioned to feel guilty for not being productive, but rest is a critical component of well-being. Let go of societal expectations, release the pressure to "do it all," and embrace the simple yet profound act of resting.

The Legacy of Rest as Resistance

Black Girl Day Off aligns with a growing movement among Black women to prioritize rest and self-care as essential components of overall well-being. From the teachings of the **Nap Ministry** to the cultural conversations around mental health in the Black community, the idea of rest as a form of resistance has gained momentum. It challenges the narrative that Black women must always be strong and productive, creating space for vulnerability, self-compassion, and healing.

As this movement continues to grow, Black Girl Day Off serves as a reminder that Black women are deserving of rest, joy, and peace—not just on one day but every day.

Black Girl Day Off is more than just a day—it's a call to action for Black women to honor themselves through rest and self-care. By setting aside time to recharge, reflect, and reconnect, Black women can continue to thrive, uplift each other, and resist the demands of a society that often overlooks their needs. Whether it's through disconnecting, indulging in creative outlets, or simply resting, Black Girl Day Off is a day to reclaim rest and affirm that Black women deserve to take up space in the world in all their fullness.

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