Designing a Trip That Actually Feels Good to You
Photo Credit: FG Trade via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
It’s not just in your head. When Black women say something feels off, we’re often met with blank stares, rushed explanations, or worse—dismissal. Whether it’s pain being minimized, symptoms being overlooked, or valid concerns being downplayed, the truth is this: healthcare was not built with us in mind. And you can feel that in the way you’re spoken to, treated, or ignored altogether.
You shouldn’t have to prepare for a fight every time you book a checkup, but in many cases, that’s what it becomes. A tug-of-war between what you know about your body and what someone else assumes based on their bias or lack of training. So you learn to prepare—not because you want to, but because you have to.
Start by treating your body like a case file. If something doesn’t feel right, log it. Don’t wait until the day before your appointment to remember when it started. Track your symptoms in real time—note the frequency, what makes it worse, what helps, and how it interferes with your daily life. This isn’t about proving you’re in pain. It’s about refusing to let anyone act like it’s unclear.
Walk into that office with questions—real ones. And expect real answers. If they hand you a vague explanation, ask for specifics. If they dismiss your concern, ask what diagnostic process they’re using. You’re not being difficult—you’re being informed. There’s a difference.
And let’s be honest: you might need a witness. Having someone with you—a friend, partner, cousin—can change the entire tone of the visit. They don’t even have to speak. Just being there can interrupt that tendency providers have to steamroll, assume, or rush through. If you can’t bring anyone, prepare a list of questions and take notes. If they push back on that, take that as a sign.
If you feel ignored, move on. Ask for a referral, a second opinion, or a complete switch. Don’t explain your discomfort. You don’t owe loyalty to a system that hasn’t earned your trust. Keep records. Ask for your charts. You have rights—use them.
And above all, trust your own expertise. You’ve been living in your body long enough to know when something’s off. Listen to that. Act on it. Say it without softening your tone.
You don’t need to convince anyone to care about your health. But you do need to make sure they can’t ignore it.
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