Balancing Your Hustle: A Mental Health Check-In For Creatives and Entrepreneurs

Balancing Your Hustle: A Mental Health Check-In For Creatives and Entrepreneurs

By: Omar Cook

As creatives and entrepreneurs, we’re often told to grind harder, hustle longer, and sacrifice everything for the vision. And while chasing dreams and building empires can be beautiful, it can also be draining if we’re not intentional about how we care for ourselves along the way. I know this firsthand. With multiple passions and businesses pulling me in different directions, I’ve had to remind myself: if I don’t take care of my mind, body, and spirit, I can’t give my best to the world.

Self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. It means finding balance between ambition and wellness. Go to the gym or take a walk outside and let the sun remind you that life is bigger than your to-do list. Drink water. Eat food that fuels you with energy. Read a book that stretches your perspective. And don’t forget the hobbies. Personally, I like to play video games as a reward after a good day’s work—it’s my way of reminding myself that joy and play are just as important as productivity.

Keep Growing

Part of taking care of yourself is also feeding your mind. I call YouTube “YouTube University” because it’s a space where you can learn anything—new skills, fresh ideas, new approaches to business and creativity. Keep yourself curious. Keep yourself open. Growth is its own form of self-love.

For me, keeping my prayer life strong and spending time with God keeps me grounded. It reminds me that even when I feel “behind,” I’m always right on time—because I’m on God’s timing. Trust Him. Have faith in His plan. The peace that comes with that trust allows you to create from a clear and powerful place.

Protect Your Vibe

The energy you surround yourself with matters. Listen to inspirational music that makes you feel good. Spend time with other people on the same wavelength—people who push you higher instead of pulling you down. Go enjoy creative arts—live music, poetry, theater—and let that energy refill your soul.

Set realistic goals and give yourself permission to be human. Don’t be too hard on yourself—you are exactly where you need to be. Every step, every stumble, every small win is part of the journey. Loving yourself, fully and unapologetically, allows you to radiate the best version of who you are. And when you operate from that state of peace, you give your greatest creations to the world.

At the end of the day, your dreams need you—whole, healthy, and present. So this is your check-in: drink some water, step outside, say a prayer, laugh with friends, learn something new, play, rest, and keep building. The empire will come, but protecting your peace along the way is what will keep it standing.

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Choosing Yourself Is Harder Than Anyone Tells You

Choosing Yourself Is Harder Than Anyone Tells You

By: Jamila Gomez

People talk about “choosing yourself” like it’s a clean, glamorous act of self-love. Like you light a candle, make a vision board, and boom—you’re healed, whole, and standing in your power. The truth is, it’s nothing like that. Choosing yourself is messy. It’s lonely. It’s questioning whether you made the right choice while also knowing deep down you did.

I had a hard day recently—the kind of day where you walk through the door and feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. My first thought was how nice it would be to have somebody there. Not to fix anything, not to solve the problem, just to be present. To sit next to me, maybe bring me a cup of tea, or say, “Yeah, today was rough.” That longing was real.

But then I remembered what it was like when I did have somebody. The truth is, those hard days didn’t magically get better just because I wasn’t alone. Sometimes, I still felt lonely in the same room with them. Sometimes, their way of being “there” came with extra weight—judgment, distraction, or even the silent reminder that my needs weren’t really understood. And it hit me: being partnered doesn’t always mean being supported.

That’s the part people skip over. Choosing yourself often means saying no to situations that look good from the outside but drain you on the inside. It’s walking away from what’s familiar because it costs too much of your peace. And when you do, the empty space it leaves behind can feel unbearable at first.

You have to learn how to hold yourself in that space. To sit with your own feelings instead of numbing them. To be your own witness on the hard days. And that’s a skill nobody teaches you—because most people don’t want to sit with themselves long enough to learn it.

Choosing yourself isn’t about isolation. It’s about knowing you’d rather stand alone than stay somewhere that requires you to shrink. It’s about building a life where you are not a side character, where your needs matter as much as anyone else’s. That doesn’t mean the longing disappears—it means you don’t let longing be the only reason you settle.

So yes, it’s hard. It’s uncomfortable. But over time, you notice the small victories: how you speak to yourself more gently, how you trust your own judgment more, how your peace feels less negotiable. And then one day, even on a hard day, you realize—you’d still choose yourself.

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Designing a Trip That Actually Feels Good to You

Photo Credit: FG Trade via iStockPhoto.com

By: Jamila Gomez

It’s not just in your head. When Black women say something feels off, we’re often met with blank stares, rushed explanations, or worse—dismissal. Whether it’s pain being minimized, symptoms being overlooked, or valid concerns being downplayed, the truth is this: healthcare was not built with us in mind. And you can feel that in the way you’re spoken to, treated, or ignored altogether.

You shouldn’t have to prepare for a fight every time you book a checkup, but in many cases, that’s what it becomes. A tug-of-war between what you know about your body and what someone else assumes based on their bias or lack of training. So you learn to prepare—not because you want to, but because you have to.

Start by treating your body like a case file. If something doesn’t feel right, log it. Don’t wait until the day before your appointment to remember when it started. Track your symptoms in real time—note the frequency, what makes it worse, what helps, and how it interferes with your daily life. This isn’t about proving you’re in pain. It’s about refusing to let anyone act like it’s unclear.

Walk into that office with questions—real ones. And expect real answers. If they hand you a vague explanation, ask for specifics. If they dismiss your concern, ask what diagnostic process they’re using. You’re not being difficult—you’re being informed. There’s a difference.

And let’s be honest: you might need a witness. Having someone with you—a friend, partner, cousin—can change the entire tone of the visit. They don’t even have to speak. Just being there can interrupt that tendency providers have to steamroll, assume, or rush through. If you can’t bring anyone, prepare a list of questions and take notes. If they push back on that, take that as a sign.

If you feel ignored, move on. Ask for a referral, a second opinion, or a complete switch. Don’t explain your discomfort. You don’t owe loyalty to a system that hasn’t earned your trust. Keep records. Ask for your charts. You have rights—use them.

And above all, trust your own expertise. You’ve been living in your body long enough to know when something’s off. Listen to that. Act on it. Say it without softening your tone.

You don’t need to convince anyone to care about your health. But you do need to make sure they can’t ignore it.

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Getting Heard in Healthcare: A Survival Guide for Black Women

Photo Credit: nortonrsx via iStockPhoto.com

By: Jamila Gomez

It’s not just in your head. When Black women say something feels off, we’re often met with blank stares, rushed explanations, or worse—dismissal. Whether it’s pain being minimized, symptoms being overlooked, or valid concerns being downplayed, the truth is this: healthcare was not built with us in mind. And you can feel that in the way you’re spoken to, treated, or ignored altogether.

You shouldn’t have to prepare for a fight every time you book a checkup, but in many cases, that’s what it becomes. A tug-of-war between what you know about your body and what someone else assumes based on their bias or lack of training. So you learn to prepare—not because you want to, but because you have to.

Start by treating your body like a case file. If something doesn’t feel right, log it. Don’t wait until the day before your appointment to remember when it started. Track your symptoms in real time—note the frequency, what makes it worse, what helps, and how it interferes with your daily life. This isn’t about proving you’re in pain. It’s about refusing to let anyone act like it’s unclear.

Walk into that office with questions—real ones. And expect real answers. If they hand you a vague explanation, ask for specifics. If they dismiss your concern, ask what diagnostic process they’re using. You’re not being difficult—you’re being informed. There’s a difference.

And let’s be honest: you might need a witness. Having someone with you—a friend, partner, cousin—can change the entire tone of the visit. They don’t even have to speak. Just being there can interrupt that tendency providers have to steamroll, assume, or rush through. If you can’t bring anyone, prepare a list of questions and take notes. If they push back on that, take that as a sign.

If you feel ignored, move on. Ask for a referral, a second opinion, or a complete switch. Don’t explain your discomfort. You don’t owe loyalty to a system that hasn’t earned your trust. Keep records. Ask for your charts. You have rights—use them.

And above all, trust your own expertise. You’ve been living in your body long enough to know when something’s off. Listen to that. Act on it. Say it without softening your tone.

You don’t need to convince anyone to care about your health. But you do need to make sure they can’t ignore it.

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Depth Doesn’t Trend: The Loneliness of Being Real Online

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By: Jamila Gomez

Let’s be honest—being real online can feel pointless. You share what actually matters, you speak from the heart, and it’s like shouting into the void. Meanwhile, the loudest, flashiest, most watered-down content gets all the attention.

Social media says it’s about connection, but most days it feels more like performance. If you’re not entertaining or overexposing yourself, you’re invisible. And if you’re someone who values honesty, nuance, and slow, meaningful growth? It’s easy to feel like you just don’t fit.

You try to share truth. You try to speak to people’s hearts. But the algorithm doesn’t reward truth—it rewards reaction. Soyou’re left wondering: is anyone even listening? Is it worth it to keep showing up?

There’s a specific kind of loneliness that comes with being genuine in a space that’s built for performance. You don’t want to fake it. You don’t want to scream to be seen. But you still want to matter. You still want your work, your voice, your presence to mean something.

What makes it worse is seeing content that feels empty take off, while your most thoughtful posts go untouched. You start second-guessing yourself. Maybe I should be louder. Maybe I should post more selfies. Maybe I should jump on the trend just this once. And maybe you do. But it never feels right. It feels like you’re borrowing someone else’s voice, someone else’s lane.

There’s no quick fix for that feeling. But what helps is remembering you’re not the only one. There are others out here building quietly. Sharing things that don’t scream for attention but still have weight. Still have value. Still matter.

You don’t have to become something you’re not to be seen. And you don’t have to shrink your message down to get a like. The right people are paying attention. They may not always show up in the comments or the DMs, but they’re there. They’re listening. They’re watching. They’re taking in every word.

It’s not about being viral. It’s about being clear. Being consistent. Being rooted. That kind of presence doesn’t explode—it builds. It lingers. It lands where it’s meant to. And that’s more than enough.

Not being seen right away doesn’t mean your presence lacks impact. It means your work is building something deeper than views. And deep always takes time.

Keep creating. Keep showing up. And don’t water down what’s real just to be seen faster.

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We Need to Talk About Emotional Manipulation in Black Families

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By: Jamila Gomez

There’s a difference between love and control—but in many Black families, that line has been blurred for so long, we’ve been taught to see them as the same thing.

Emotional manipulation isn’t always loud or aggressive. Most of the time, it shows up quiet and familiar, wrapped in phrases we’ve heard all our lives:

“After all I’ve done for you.”

“That’s just how I was raised.”

“You think you better than us now?”

It’s the guilt trip when you try to set boundaries. The silent treatment when you say no. The expectation that you’ll show up, pay up, and never speak up. And if you dare to name what’s happening, you’re suddenly the disrespectful one—the ungrateful child, the outsider, the problem.

In Black families, there’s often an unspoken belief that elders are above accountability, that “family business” should stay quiet, and that loyalty means silence—even in the face of harm. It’s a survival response rooted in real history. Our families have spent generations trying to hold it together under systemic pressure, economic struggle, and racial trauma. Control, shame, and fear became tools to protect and preserve. But those same tools are now damaging us from the inside.

When love is measured by obedience, and respect is weaponized to silence you, it’s not protection—it’s manipulation. And what gets dismissed as “just how they are” ends up becoming our emotional blueprint. It teaches us to ignore our own needs, overextend ourselves, and mistake guilt for connection. We carry that into our friendships, romantic relationships, and even into parenting, where the cycle threatens to continue.

This isn’t about blame—it’s about awareness. Because healing starts with naming what hurt us, not pretending it didn’t. And some of the things we normalized growing up were never okay. The problem is, if you try to break the pattern, you risk being labeled difficult, distant, or “not family-oriented.” But what they don’t understand is that choosing your peace isn’t abandonment—it’s protection, too.

Black families deserve better than cycles of emotional silence and manipulation dressed up as tradition. We deserve relationships built on mutual respect, real communication, and space to grow. But we won’t get there if we keep pretending that guilt is love and silence is strength.

We’re allowed to want more. We’re allowed to choose differently. And we don’t owe anyone our emotional freedom just to keep the peace.

The truth is that the only way to truly honor our families is to do the work they weren’t allowed—or willing—to do. That starts by being honest about what’s been passed down… and deciding which parts end with us.

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Your Attachment Style Isn’t a Personality Trait

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By: Jamila Gomez

Attachment styles have become a popular topic lately—people are quick to label themselves as anxious, avoidant, secure, or fearful. Social media quizzes, memes, and quick-hit psychology posts make it easy to say, “Oh, I’m just anxiously attached,” or, “I’m avoidant—that’s who I am.” But here’s the truth we often overlook: your attachment style isn’t actually your personality. It’s not something you were born with, and it certainly isn’t fixed for life.

Attachment styles are coping mechanisms formed in early relationships—usually with caregivers—and shaped by later life experiences. If you felt consistently loved and safe as a child, chances are you developed a secure attachment style. If affection was unpredictable, you might have become anxious—always bracing for the possibility of being abandoned. If your emotional needs were consistently neglected or dismissed, avoidance became your armor. And if your caregivers were unpredictable or unsafe, fearful attachment—mixing anxiety with avoidance—likely became your default mode of navigating relationships.

But these styles aren’t personality traits; they’re survival strategies. They’re what you learned to do to protect yourself from emotional pain, disappointment, and rejection. And what was learned can also be unlearned.

When you see attachment as something fluid rather than fixed, you create space to grow, heal, and transform. Labeling yourself permanently as anxious or avoidant can lock you into patterns of behavior that no longer serve you. It can even become an excuse to avoid doing the deeper emotional work necessary to develop healthier, more secure connections.

Consider this: if your attachment style were truly a core part of your personality, you’d never feel the urge to change it. Yet, many of us do. We grow tired of sabotaging good relationships, exhausted by constantly needing reassurance, or burdened by our instinct to emotionally withdraw whenever intimacy feels too real.

Healing begins by recognizing that your attachment style is not who you are—it’s simply how you learned to be. With awareness, intention, and often professional or therapeutic support, you can reshape your emotional habits and responses. You can develop trust, communicate openly, and build emotional safety within yourself and with others.

Your attachment style doesn’t define your worth or your capacity to love and be loved. Instead, it’s a roadmap showing you exactly where healing needs to happen. By treating your attachment style as something to understand rather than something to accept as your permanent identity, you reclaim your power and invite genuine connection into your life.

So remember: your attachment style isn’t your destiny. It’s your starting point—and your invitation—to heal.

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Designing a Trip That Actually Feels Good to You

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By: Jamila Gomez

There’s a difference between traveling and actually enjoying the trip. Too many women return from vacation exhausted, overstimulated, and needing another few days to recover. What was supposed to be a reset turns into another task—a tightly packed schedule designed for aesthetics more than actual enjoyment. Somewhere along the way, leisure started to feel like performance.

Designing a trip that feels good to you begins with clarity. Not every destination needs to be trendy. Not every restaurant needs to be Michelin-rated. And not every moment needs to be posted. The real question is: what kind of travel makes you feel most like yourself? Because if the trip isn’t aligned with who you are, it won’t serve you—no matter how far the flight.

Some women want movement—museums, excursions, and planned days from start to finish. Others want slow mornings, late breakfasts, and no alarms. Both are valid. But problems start when people plan around pressure instead of preference. If you’re not a morning person at home, forcing a sunrise hike on vacation isn’t self-care—it’s performance. Trust your rhythm. 

Start by identifying the purpose of the trip before you book anything. Is it a break, a celebration, a recovery, or just an escape? That answer will tell you what kind of space you need, how much energy you have to give, and who (if anyone) should come with you. Don’t say yes to trips that don’t reflect your needs. Grown woman travel should feel good before, during, and after the flight. 

Build space into your itinerary. If every hour is accounted for, it’s not leisure—it’s obligation. You need room to wander, to nap, to cancel plans without guilt. The best memories often happen during the unscheduled time. A good trip leaves space for spontaneity without leaving you drained.

There’s also power in traveling for yourself—not for photos, not for content, not for a recap. You don’t owe anyone a slideshow or proof of fun. If the experience felt meaningful to you, that’s enough. The views can stay in your head. The peace can stay off the grid.

And when the trip ends, ask yourself: did it give something back to me? Whether it’s calm, clarity, connection, or just a reason to smile when you think back on it—that’s what matters. Because a trip done right doesn’t just take you somewhere new. It brings you back to yourself.

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Gentle Words for a Mind in Overdrive

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By: Jamila Gomez

When overwhelm sets in, it often feels like being trapped beneath a wave, struggling to catch your breath. Let’s pause right here. First, breathe with me—slowly in, and slowly out. Let’s ground ourselves before we unpack everything swirling around inside.

It’s completely understandable to feel buried under this weight right now. Life has a relentless way of piling on challenges, obligations, and expectations. Recognize this: your overwhelm doesn’t indicate weakness or failure; it’s a signal from your body and mind that you’re juggling more than feels manageable. That’s not a flaw—it’s being human.

Take a moment to acknowledge everything that’s causing your overwhelm. It can feel counterintuitive to face it directly, but clarity often begins with gentle acknowledgment. What specifically feels too heavy today? Is it work pressure, relationship struggles, health concerns, or perhaps the accumulation of many smaller tasks?

Now, let’s compassionately observe what’s happening inside. Overwhelm often whispers lies that sound like truth: “You can’t handle this,” or “You’ll never catch up.” But pause here—these are feelings, not facts. Feelings are valid but not permanent, intense but not all-knowing. You have navigated moments of overwhelm before, even when it felt impossible, and each time, you have found your way through.

Even now, in the fog of too much, there is still something steady inside you. That part of you that got up today, that part of you reading this right now—it matters. It counts. You are not frozen, even if you’re moving slowly. That is still movement. That is still you choosing to try.

Consider for a moment what small action could create some breathing room right now. Not a sweeping, overwhelming solution—just one small step. Maybe it’s writing down a single task to complete, asking someone for help, or choosing to postpone something until tomorrow. Allow yourself permission for small actions that feel gentle rather than Herculean.

And if the small step today is simply letting yourself cry, or rest, or sit in silence for five minutes—that’s valid too. You are not lazy for needing to pause. You are not broken because your capacity is lower today. You’re responding to the weight of your life the best way you can in this moment.

Finally, remember this: you are not alone in this feeling. Many others have stood exactly where you are, feeling exactly what you’re feeling. Overwhelm is isolating, but the reality is profoundly human and deeply shared.

Give yourself the grace you would generously offer someone else in your shoes. Talk to yourself gently: “It’s okay that I’m feeling this. It won’t last forever. I’m allowed to take this slowly, step by step.”

Trust your resilience—it has quietly helped you move through countless tough moments before. It’s okay to slow down, reach out, and prioritize care. You’ve got this—not because it’s easy, but because you have the strength, even in exhaustion, to show up for yourself one gentle step at a time.

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Dare to Want What’s Truly Yours

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By: Jamila Gomez

If you woke up tomorrow morning completely free of anyone else’s expectations, judgments, or opinions, what would you truly want? It’s a deceptively simple question, yet many of us struggle to answer it honestly. We spend so much of our lives shaping our choices around how they’ll be perceived by others—family, friends, coworkers, even strangers—that we often lose sight of our authentic selves. But beneath the layers of external validation and approval-seeking lies a powerful clarity waiting to be uncovered.

Discovering what we truly desire, independent of others’ perceptions, requires courage. It demands that we peel away the protective layers we’ve built up over the years—layers formed by societal pressures, familial expectations, and cultural norms. Beneath it all, you’ll find not just your authentic desires, but also your unique passions, joys, and purposes that are truly yours.

The journey of self-discovery begins with curiosity. Start by asking yourself small, yet deeply revealing questions: What activities make me lose track of time? When do I feel most alive and genuine? Which dreams excite me even if they seem impractical or unconventional? These questions can guide you back to yourself, illuminating paths you may have overlooked because they weren’t “acceptable” or aligned with traditional expectations.

Imagine for a moment how liberating it would feel to genuinely prioritize your own desires without the noise of judgment clouding your decisions. Maybe you’d pursue a career that society doesn’t typically celebrate but makes your heart race with excitement. Perhaps you’d relocate to a city or country that resonates deeply with your spirit, despite skepticism from those around you. Or maybe you’d finally commit to a passion project, whether it’s writing poetry, making art, or traveling solo.

It’s not selfish to seek out what fulfills you; it’s self-respect. The beauty of authenticity is that it doesn’t diminish your relationships—it enriches them. When you’re living in alignment with your true desires, your connections become deeper and more genuine, rooted in who you truly are rather than who you’re expected to be.

Consider taking just one brave step today toward embracing your truth. Speak a desire aloud, journal about your secret dreams, or explore a small, unconventional choice that resonates with your soul. By gradually nurturing this inner authenticity, you’ll build confidence and clarity, ultimately discovering a life shaped by your genuine desires rather than others’ expectations.

So, ask yourself again: What would you truly want if no one else’s opinions mattered? Your answer could be the beginning of a remarkable journey toward your most authentic and fulfilling life.

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