Navigating Wins Alone: When Your Biggest Wins Don’t Get Applause

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By: Jamila Gomez

There comes a point in your life when the wins you prayed for finally show up, but the people you assumed would celebrate with you are nowhere to be found. You look around for the friend you used to call first. You glance at your phone expecting at least one message that says, “I’m proud of you.” Nothing. The silence can make even a joyful moment feel heavy. You find yourself asking why this achievement feels lonelier than the struggle it took to get here.

Many Black women know this story far too well. We work, we fight, we survive, and then when something good finally happens, we stand at the finish line by ourselves. Sometimes the people who watched us climb pretend they did not see us reach the top. Other times they are caught up in their own lives. And in some cases, we outgrew the people who used to clap for us. No matter the reason, having wins with no witness can leave you questioning their value.

This loneliness can hit hard because the world tells us success is meant to be shared. We are taught that joy is supposed to echo. That milestones should be toasted with a room full of people who love you. But the truth is more complicated. Sometimes the win arrives during a season where you are rebuilding your circle. Sometimes the people you thought were permanent were only meant to walk with you through the part of life they understood. And sometimes your growth made your relationships shift in ways you never saw coming.

The hardest part of navigating wins alone is not the silence. The hardest part is the doubt that creeps in. You wonder if the win even counts when no one sees it. You wonder if you should keep striving when the road is this quiet. You wonder if you are allowed to celebrate yourself without feeling silly or self-centered. These questions can pull you back into old patterns, the ones that taught you to shrink yourself so you would not outshine anyone or inconvenience anyone with your joy.

But here is the truth that often gets overlooked: standing alone at the moment of your success does not mean the success is small. It means you outgrew the rooms where your joy used to fit. Sometimes you are being pulled into a life where your wins do not require an audience to be real. They only require you to claim them. When your circle feels thin, your voice becomes the one that matters most.

There is also a quiet power in learning to honor your achievements privately. It teaches you to root your confidence inside yourself instead of waiting for someone else to validate it. It teaches you to mark your own milestones instead of hoping someone else remembers they are important. And it teaches you to sit in gratitude without distraction. That internal grounding becomes a strength that follows you into every new chapter.

At the same time, being honest about the loneliness matters. You do not need to pretend it feels good to celebrate alone. You do not have to be the strong one who never admits she wishes she had a safe place to share her wins. Wanting connection does not make you needy. Wanting witnesses does not make you weak. It makes you human.

The key is to keep going without letting the silence convince you that you are unsupported. Someone out there is looking for the kind of woman who does what you do. Someone out there will hear your story and feel seen. Someone out there will show up with the same energy you pour into others. You are building a life that new people will grow into. And when those connections arrive, you will have a foundation strong enough to hold them.

Your wins are real. Your joy is real. Your growth is real. Even if you are the only one in the room to witness it today. Keep moving. Someone who can hold space for your light is on their way.

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The Cost of Chasing Perfect: Why Perfectionism Holds You Back From Success

The Cost of Chasing “Perfect”

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By: Jamila Gomez

Perfect sounds good in theory. It promises security, approval, and the sense that once you finally achieve it, you’ll be able to breathe easier. But the truth is, chasing “perfect” doesn’t deliver freedom. It delivers exhaustion.

Perfection is a moving target. You think you’ve reached it, but then the bar shifts again. Someone else posts something shinier. You notice one more thing to fix. You tell yourself, If I tweak just this one detail, then I’ll be ready. That cycle never ends. One “fix” becomes ten, and suddenly weeks or even years have passed. The project never gets finished. The relationship never moves forward. The dream stays stuck in rehearsal mode.

And the price isn’t only time. The deeper cost is your energy. The energy you could have used to live, to try, to share, to create without apology. Perfectionism siphons all of it into polishing edges most people won’t even notice. You end up drained, and ironically, you still don’t feel satisfied. What was supposed to bring pride ends up leaving you empty.

The harder truth is this: chasing perfect is almost never about standards. It’s about fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of not measuring up. Fear that if you show up with anything less than flawless, you’ll be exposed. But here’s the trap—the longer you wait for perfect, the more invisible you become. Nothing gets shared. Nothing gets said. Nothing gets lived.

Think about how much of your life has already been swallowed up by “getting ready.” The ideas you never pitched. The words you never published. The conversations you rehearsed in your head but never spoke out loud. The opportunities you let pass because you didn’t feel polished enough yet. That’s the erosion of perfectionism—it steals moments that will never come back.

The alternative isn’t settling for sloppy. It’s choosing momentum over paralysis. It’s admitting that “done” matters more than “perfect,” because done gives you something to stand on and something to build from. Perfection keeps you locked in theory; movement creates proof. And once you have proof, you can refine. You can grow. You can keep moving forward without waiting for permission from flawless.

And here’s the piece we forget: people don’t connect with perfect anyway. They connect with presence. They connect with honesty. They connect with seeing someone risk showing up as they are. The cracks are where the light gets in, and those cracks make you relatable in ways perfection never will.

Perfect will drain you. Honest will sustain you. And every time you choose presence over perfection, you get your energy back—and with it, your freedom to keep moving.

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Stay the Course: Remember Why You Started

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By: Jamila Gomez

Life has a funny way of testing you when you’re chasing a dream. That passion that once lit a fire in your soul can sometimes feel like a burden when challenges come knocking. The excitement you had when you started can fade under the weight of doubt, exhaustion, and the pressure to make things happen—especially in a world where Black excellence is expected to be twice as good just to be considered enough.

But let’s pause for a second.

Think back to why you started. What was the vision that kept you up at night? What was the dream that made you step out in faith, despite the odds? That fire you felt in the beginning is still there—it’s just waiting for you to fan the flames again.

The Weight of the Journey

Let’s be real: sometimes the journey is heavier than expected. Maybe you launched your business, but the sales aren’t rolling in the way you hoped. Maybe you started school, but the workload is pushing you to your limit. Maybe you set out to create change in your community, but the resistance has you wondering if it’s even worth it.

We’ve all been there.

The pressure, the setbacks, the moments of doubt—it’s easy to lose sight of the original vision when you’re knee-deep in the process. But don’t let temporary obstacles make you forget the long-term goal. You didn’t start just to quit.

Reconnect with Your “Why”

When the road gets tough, it’s time to ground yourself in your “why.”

• Remember who you’re doing it for. Is it for the little kid who looks up to you? The ancestors who paved the way? The future generations who deserve to see what’s possible?

• Revisit the passion. What made you excited in the first place? Sometimes, stepping away from the grind to reflect can reignite that passion.

• Acknowledge your progress. You may not be where you want to be yet, but you’re not where you started either. Celebrate the wins, no matter how small.

Keep Going—Your Future Self is Counting on You

Success isn’t about avoiding obstacles—it’s about pushing through them. Every great Black entrepreneur, artist, activist, and leader we admire had moments where they wanted to quit. But they didn’t. They kept showing up, pushing forward, and staying the course.

And now it’s your turn.

So take a deep breath, straighten your crown, and remind yourself: You are capable. You are worthy. And you didn’t come this far just to come this far. Keep going.

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Failure Isn’t a Full Stop: Keep Going

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By: Jamila Gomez

First things first: failure doesn’t define you. It’s not the period at the end of your story; it’s a comma. Messed up on a project at work? Got ghosted after putting yourself out there? Launched a side hustle that flopped? Cool. That just means you’re doing something. The people who never fail are the ones who never try.

The trick is to stop seeing failure as a reflection of your worth and start seeing it as part of the process. Every success story you’ve ever heard is full of “almost didn’t make it” moments.

The Lesson in the L

Here’s the secret sauce: failure is only a waste if you don’t learn from it. When something doesn’t work out, ask yourself why. Was it the approach? The timing? The effort? Take a hard look at what went wrong—not to beat yourself up, but to figure out how to move differently next time.

Think about it like this: every time you fail, you’re gathering data. That “bad” relationship taught you what you don’t want. That “lost” job showed you what kind of environment you thrive in. That “failed” business idea taught you a skill you’ll use in your next venture. The L isn’t a loss; it’s a lesson.

Keep It Moving

The key to failing forward is momentum. Don’t let fear of failure paralyze you. If something doesn’t work out, pivot and try again. Successful people aren’t the ones who never fail—they’re the ones who keep going, even after they fall flat on their face.

Picture this: you’re riding a bike. If you stop pedaling, you fall over. But if you keep moving, even at a slow pace, you stay balanced. Life works the same way. Keep pedaling, even when the road gets bumpy.

Failures That Built Legends

Need proof? Look at some of the greatest success stories:

• Michael Jordan didn’t make his high school varsity basketball team on his first try. Now he’s literally synonymous with greatness.

• Oprah Winfrey got fired from one of her first TV jobs. Fired. From a job in the very industry she went on to dominate.

• JK Rowling got rejected by 12 publishers before someone gave Harry Potter a shot. Now it’s a billion-dollar empire.

These people didn’t stop at failure. They learned from it, adjusted, and came back harder.

Rewrite Your Story

Failing forward means giving yourself grace. You’re going to mess up—it’s inevitable. But how you respond to failure is where the magic happens. You can either sit in the wreckage and throw a pity party, or you can sift through the rubble, grab the tools you need, and start rebuilding.

So, the next time you fall short, don’t get stuck. Get up. Look back, take the lesson, and keep stepping forward. Fail forward, and watch how those L’s start looking more like stepping stones.

Because here’s the truth: failure isn’t the opposite of success. It’s a part of it.

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