I Don’t Know Who Needs to Hear This, But…

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By: Jamila Gomez

You don’t have to keep pretending that you’re okay just because people are used to you being strong.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your exhaustion makes sense. Not just the physical kind—the soul kind. The kind of tired that doesn’t go away after one good night’s sleep. The kind that lingers after you’ve checked off every box but still feel like you’re falling short.

This world asks a lot of you. And if you’re Black, it asks for even more—your time, your brilliance, your patience, your resilience—and rarely pauses to return the favor. You’re expected to be dependable even when no one checks to see if you’re depleted. And you’ve probably learned how to smile through it. To keep showing up. To hold space for others when no one holds space for you.

But what about you?

You, who is grieving things you never got to name.

You, who is tired of performing strength while no one sees your softness.

You, who doesn’t feel good enough—even when you’re doing more than most.

Let me say this clearly: You are not weak for feeling weary. You are human.

Feeling tired doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It might just mean you’ve outgrown the life you had to build just to survive. It might mean your spirit is asking for more rest, more truth, more honesty. Not just naps and spa days—but real permission to not always be okay.

You are not behind. You are not broken. You are not less than.

You are carrying more than most people will ever see. And even if no one claps for you today, even if no one texts to check in, even if no one says “I’m proud of you”—you’re still doing something sacred.

You’re surviving systems not made for you.

You’re trying to heal without a map.

You’re showing up in rooms that weren’t designed with your rest in mind.

That deserves more than just validation. It deserves relief.

So, if no one has told you lately: You matter. You’re allowed to pause. You are enough—right now, without proving a thing.

You don’t need to be everyone’s anchor. Sometimes, you just need to float.

And maybe this is your permission to do just that.

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Who Heals the Healer?

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By: Jamila Gomez

You’re the one they call when everything falls apart. The one with the calm voice, the right words, the emotional clarity. You’ve helped friends leave toxic relationships, walked them through panic attacks, stayed up late dissecting family trauma and patterns. You’re the safe space. The “therapist friend.”

But what happens when you’re the one unraveling — quietly, invisibly, with no one to hold space for you the way you do for everyone else?

There’s an unspoken pressure that comes with being the emotionally mature one in the group. People start to expect you to have it all together. You become their mirror, their compass, their relief. But inside, you might be exhausted. Resentful. Avoiding your own healing because helping others feels easier — or at least more immediately rewarding.

Many of us learned early that being useful kept us safe. We became the fixer, the listener, the emotional translator in our families. That skill followed us into adulthood, and now we wear it like a badge — even when it’s suffocating. Even when we haven’t had a chance to deal with our own grief, anxiety, fear of abandonment, or burnout.

And the truth is, you can be wise and wounded at the same time. You can give great advice and still struggle to follow it. You can understand boundaries and still have trouble enforcing them. Holding space for others doesn’t mean you’re healed — it just means you’ve learned how to survive while holding pain quietly.

This isn’t about shame. It’s about honesty. You deserve more than being the emotional backbone for everyone else while you’re left holding your own weight in silence. You deserve support, too. Validation. A place to lay your burdens down without needing to explain yourself first.

So here’s a gentle reminder:

• You don’t have to earn your worth by being the strong one.

• You’re allowed to take off the healer hat and just be human.

• You don’t owe anyone 24/7 emotional availability — not even your closest people.

If this is you, consider what replenishes you. Who pours back into you? What would it look like to say, “I don’t have it in me today,” and let that be enough?

Being the therapist friend is beautiful. But so is being the one who rests, who receives, who remembers they’re allowed to need care too. You’re not just a resource. You’re a whole person. Start treating yourself like it.

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5 Signs of Burnout and How to Fix It

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By: Jamila Gomez

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. While it can happen to anyone, it’s especially common in high-pressure environments, whether that’s work, caregiving, or even school. Recognizing the signs of burnout early is crucial because it can affect not just your job performance, but your overall well-being. Below are five signs of burnout and strategies to fix it.

1. Chronic Fatigue and Lack of Energy

One of the earliest and most noticeable signs of burnout is ongoing fatigue. Unlike regular tiredness, this exhaustion persists even after a full night’s sleep. You may feel physically drained, emotionally depleted, and unable to find the energy to engage in activities you once enjoyed.

Fix It: Prioritize Rest and Sleep

To combat chronic fatigue, it’s essential to prioritize rest. This may mean taking breaks during the day, practicing better sleep hygiene, or even taking a few days off to recharge. Incorporating mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, or yoga can also help calm your mind and body, restoring your energy levels over time.

2. Reduced Performance and Productivity

When you’re burnt out, your ability to focus and perform at your best diminishes. Tasks that once seemed simple may now feel overwhelming or impossible. You might find yourself procrastinating more, missing deadlines, or making frequent mistakes.

Fix It: Set Boundaries and Delegate Tasks

Setting clear boundaries between work and personal time is essential. Identify tasks that can be delegated or streamlined and learn to say no when your plate is full. Break larger projects into smaller, more manageable tasks to avoid feeling overwhelmed. A well-structured to-do list can also help maintain a sense of accomplishment as you complete each step.

3. Emotional Detachment and Cynicism

Burnout can lead to emotional numbness or detachment. You may feel disinterested in work or even in social interactions with family and friends. Cynicism often accompanies this emotional exhaustion, making you feel disconnected and pessimistic about your circumstances.

Fix It: Reconnect with Your Purpose

To counter emotional detachment, it’s important to reconnect with what matters to you. Reflect on what initially motivated you in your role or activities and seek out aspects that bring you joy. Consider volunteering, hobbies, or social activities that align with your values. Talking to a therapist or counselor can also help you navigate these emotions and regain a sense of purpose.

4. Physical Symptoms

Burnout doesn’t just affect your mind; it can manifest physically, too. You might experience frequent headaches, stomach issues, muscle tension, or sleep problems. These physical symptoms are often your body’s way of signaling that something is off.

Fix It: Practice Self-Care

Self-care is crucial in preventing and recovering from burnout. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient hydration can improve your physical health, while relaxation techniques like massages, deep breathing, or spending time in nature can ease physical tension. Listen to your body’s signals, and don’t ignore persistent symptoms — consulting a doctor may be necessary.

5. Feelings of Hopelessness and Loss of Motivation

A sense of hopelessness is another hallmark of burnout. You may feel trapped or stuck, unable to see a way forward. This often leads to a loss of motivation, making it difficult to muster the enthusiasm needed to tackle everyday tasks.

Fix It: Set Realistic Goals and Seek Support

Setting small, achievable goals can help rebuild your sense of accomplishment and motivation. Instead of focusing on long-term outcomes, break down your responsibilities into bite-sized steps. In addition, seeking support from colleagues, friends, or a professional counselor can help you gain perspective and find practical solutions. Sometimes, simply sharing your frustrations can alleviate some of the weight you’re carrying.

Take Action Early

Burnout can have serious consequences if left unaddressed, but recognizing the signs early and taking proactive steps can help you regain balance. Rest, self-care, and seeking support are essential tools in managing burnout. If these symptoms persist despite your efforts, consider consulting a healthcare professional to explore deeper issues and more specialized interventions. The key is to not ignore the warning signs — taking care of yourself is the first step to overcoming burnout.

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