Polished Ain’t Protection: Dismantling the Lie That Playing by the Rules Keeps Us Safe
Respectability politics continues to harm Black communities by promoting conformity over authenticity, reinforcing systemic racism, and dividing us based on outdated standards of acceptability. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: filadendron via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
Respectability politics has been lurking in our conversations for generations. You know the vibes: “Pull your pants up,” “Speak properly,” “Don’t act ghetto.” It’s that belief that if we just present ourselves the “right” way—dress a certain way, talk a certain way, follow all the rules—we’ll be treated with dignity and respect.
But let’s be real: has that ever truly worked?
Respectability politics was born out of survival. Back in the day, our grandparents and great-grandparents navigated a violently racist society by trying to fit into the mold that white America deemed “acceptable.” It was a strategy. If they could just prove they were “good” and “decent,” maybe they could avoid the worst of what white supremacy had to offer. It was a coping mechanism, and in a way, it made sense—when your very life is on the line, you do what you have to do.
But here’s the thing: no amount of code-switching, Sunday-best outfits, or Ivy League degrees has ever stopped racism. Look at how they treat us—whether we’re in hoodies or three-piece suits. The truth is, systemic racism doesn’t care how polished you are. Sandra Bland was college-educated and articulate. Barack Obama was President. They still faced disrespect and worse. So what are we really gaining by clinging to respectability?
More importantly, it creates division within our community. It tells us that some Black people are “better” than others based on how closely they align with whiteness or “mainstream” standards. That’s dangerous. It turns us against each other instead of standing together against the real enemy: the system that devalues Black lives across the board.
We’re not a monolith. We are diverse, vibrant, and full of contradictions—and that’s beautiful. We have the right to be ratchet and refined, hood and scholarly, spiritual and secular. All of it is valid. None of it makes us less worthy of dignity, safety, or justice.
So maybe it’s time we leave respectability behind. We don’t need to shrink ourselves or conform to be worthy of basic human rights. The revolution will not be polite—and it shouldn’t have to be.
Let’s love on each other in all our forms. Let’s uplift the aunties with the loud nails, the queer cousins, the kids with grills and dreams. Because we all deserve to be free—not just the ones who “fit in.”
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