You Might Be Doing Better Than You Think
A lot of Black women are carrying far more than people realize, and constantly focusing on what still needs to be done can make it easy to overlook just how much strength, growth, and resilience it has already taken to make it this far! We discuss it here!
You’re Doing Better Than You Think
Photo Credit: Vergani_Fotografia via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
A lot of Black women are harder on themselves than they realize.
There is always something else that needs attention. Another responsibility. Another goal. Another thing to improve. Because so much focus goes toward what still is not finished, it becomes easy to overlook everything that has already been handled, survived, rebuilt, or carried.
A lot of women have gotten so used to figuring things out that they barely stop long enough to acknowledge how much they actually manage on a daily basis. They adapt quickly. They push through quickly. They recover quietly. Then life moves on and expects more from them again.
So even after accomplishing something difficult, the mind immediately moves to the next thing. The next payment. The next task. The next problem. The next expectation. After a while, “enough” starts to feel impossible to reach because the standard keeps moving.
Meanwhile, many women are carrying things today that an earlier version of themselves would have struggled to survive at all.
Some are rebuilding emotionally while still handling work and responsibilities every day. Some are managing health struggles while still trying to be present for the people around them. Some are navigating grief, heartbreak, financial pressure, caregiving, loneliness, disappointment, or burnout while still finding a way to continue moving forward.
That effort deserves to be acknowledged.
Everything does not have to be perfect before someone is allowed to recognize their own progress. There is still room to grow while also admitting that growth has already happened.
Because sometimes progress looks very ordinary while it is happening. It looks like responding differently than before. It looks like setting boundaries that once felt impossible. It looks like getting through a hard season without completely losing yourself inside it. It looks like trying again after disappointment instead of shutting down completely.
A lot of people overlook their progress because it did not happen loudly. It happened slowly, quietly, and through small decisions made over time.
The truth is, surviving difficult seasons changes people in ways they do not always notice immediately. Many women are stronger, wiser, more self-aware, and more resilient than they give themselves credit for because they are too busy focusing on where they think they should be by now.
But life does not move in straight lines. People outgrow things. People restart. People heal slowly. People rebuild in pieces. That does not mean they are failing.
Sometimes doing enough looks different than expected. Sometimes doing enough means continuing to show up for your life while carrying things nobody else fully sees. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means surviving a season that felt like it would never end.
A lot of Black women give so much of themselves to other people, responsibilities, expectations, and survival that they rarely stop to recognize themselves with the same compassion they offer everyone else.
There is nothing weak about acknowledging that something has been difficult while still continuing anyway. And there is nothing wrong with taking a moment to recognize how far you have already come before rushing yourself toward the next thing.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
Boost Your Motivation: Strategies to Overcome Procrastination and Achieve Your Goals
Learn powerful strategies to enhance your motivation, overcome procrastination, and successfully achieve your goals with actionable insights. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: Delmaine Donson via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
What does it take to motivate yourself? You set goals, make plans, get excited, but then procrastinate when it comes time to do something. Many of us are cursed with the ability to feel good about the planning process, but awful about acting on those plans. There’s a disconnect that few people understand how to address.
Master this ability and you can do anything. However, if your ability to tie your planning and action phases together is poor, you’ll struggle immensely.
Enhance your motivation and your results with these strategies:
Give your attention to those things under your control. You can’t control much, but there’s no reason to focus on anything else. Doing so will only lead to feeling overwhelmed. For example, receiving a promotion isn’t under your control. The behaviors that improve your odds are under your control.
Put your time, energy, and attention on the things you can manipulate. Avoid wasting your resources on anything you can’t influence.
Find a purpose that inspires you. Going into work on Saturday to complete a report might sound like the least enjoyable way to spend part of your weekend, but if excelling at your job could lead to the promotion you’ve been dreaming of, it’s easier to be motivated.
Most people don’t like to work out, but the prospect of being healthier and more attractive is motivating to many people.
Avoid judging the task or activity in the short-term. Think about what you’ll get out of it down the road. Find a way to take inspired action.
Your inspiration might be a product of what you’re doing for others. How does your goal benefit others?
Focus on small wins. If your goal is to lose 50 pounds over the next year, it’s easy to become burned out. After two hard weeks of hitting the gym, avoiding late night snacks, and drinking only water, you’ve lost a total of two pounds. You’re right on schedule, but you realize that you have 48 weeks and 48 pounds to go. It seems like too much to bear.
Break the goal up into smaller pieces. Depending on your ability to focus, it might be necessary to break up the goal into segments that last anywhere from one week to 12 weeks. This way your brain can experience success and logically see a positive long-term outcome. You’ll procrastinate if the path looks too challenging.
Act first. It’s a mistake to wait for motivation to strike. You might find yourself waiting for a long time. Avoid thinking too much about the work to be done. If you wait too long to get started, procrastination becomes more likely. Before you can stop yourself, get started. You’ll find that motivation is easier to experience after you’ve acted.
Every minute you wait under the guise of “planning” or “strategizing” saps what little motivation you may already have. Jump up and get busy!
Enhance your mood. It’s much harder to be motivated when you’re in a bad mood. Studies have shown that a negative mood increases procrastination behaviors.
Procrastination enhances your mood in the short-term, but at the expense of the future. Put yourself into a better mental state and procrastination becomes less likely to occur.
Happiness increases productivity and success. Monitor your progress. Research suggests that nothing is more motivating than progress in a meaningful endeavor.
Without motivation, you can make spectacular goals and plans and still come up short. The smallest obstacle could stop you. Learning to manage your motivation is a key component of effectively handling challenges and moving on to accomplish great things. Motivate yourself and you can do anything!
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN: