Stop Forcing It!
By: Ashley Jenkins
You ever heard the phrase “Let it come natural”? Yes, that applies to you and all the other people who are forcing a relationship, or even a friendship. Things that are forced don’t necessarily last as long, because you’re rushing too fast into it. I know your intentions are as pure and genuine, but you don’t need to push yourself to go above and beyond for the other person if it’s not being reciprocated back. You’re probably saying to yourself, well what do you know about it, you don’t know what you’re talking about. I do, because I learned from my experience. Worrying yourself, wondering if they really like you, or maybe if I do this and that for them, they’ll see that I’m the one. It doesn’t work like that.
>> RELATED: How to Date Without Losing Your Mind
What is meant for you, will always be for you, even if they leave, if it’s meant to be it will happen. Them leaving is just apart of the story that must be written in the journey back to you. I’m not saying you must live by this saying or code, but it has been proven to be true. Do not beg, force, or chase. If you feel as though this person is worth it, and trust you’ll know the feeling when it happens, then you take it to God and pray about it. Have strong faith and trust that if it’s meant to be it will most definitely happen, and if it crashes then it wasn’t meant to be.
Just relax and keep your cool! It’s okay to feel overwhelmed in the beginning of the talking stage with a person, I get it. However, you can’t let your emotions get the best of you. Think with your head and use your gut to guide you in moments when you are feeling unsure about how the person feels about you. You do need to have a common ground, and both understand what it is and what it isn’t and if you’re still in the talking stages as well, because you don’t want to over play your role. Remember when I said “just relax and keep cool”, yea that’s what I meant. Don’t ever over play your role, because that’s a form of forcing it. If they’re not doing the things that you’re doing for them to you, then dial it back a little or to their level of effort.
Letting your emotions dictate your actions, can be very dangerous in any situation but especially in the talking stages. You’re both feeling each other out, showing too much emotions to where everything revolves around them, knowing their every move, stalking them, or going out of your way to do anything for them, when it’s being one-sided. This is forcing it to the MAX, and letting your emotions guide you. Use your head more than anything. Don’t let your emotions blindside you from seeing the real, because your emotions will make you see a fantasy that you’re really wanting with this person, and you’re going to force, over play your role, or even start to smother the person that you’re wanting to be with. Just relax, and let it take it’s course. If you don’t remember anything from this, remember these words “Whatever is meant for you will always be for you, and whatever crashes, crashes, because it wasn’t meant for you.”